


I Wanted You To Know

by Agent_Stilinski007



Category: Teen Wolf (TV), Teen Wolf (TV) RPF
Genre: Alpha Derek, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Cancer, Character Death, Cute Derek Hale, Derek has a daughter, Drama, F/M, Feelings, Hospitals, Laughter, Lost Love, Pack, Tears, Toddlers, Tragedy, derekxreader, finding out about daughter, halebabys, wolfpack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-01-23 04:21:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12498652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agent_Stilinski007/pseuds/Agent_Stilinski007
Summary: Derek thought that he would never see Y/n again after she left him three years ago because he messed up. Little did he know that a innocent looking letter would change his life completely within days. How was he going to deal with his new life? Will he be able to face his feelings, his mistakes and most importantly the responsibilities that come with being a father?





	1. -Chapter 1-

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first Fanfiction on this platform, I posted this and two other Fanfictions on Wattpad, so I thought I might as well try my luck here. I have to say that I am not a native speaker. So if you can find any major mistakes, please let me know. I don't know where I am going with this yet, so yep, we'll see. :)  
> Thanks in advance for reading and taking your time to go through this, now enjoy <3

||You can see the change of _**POV**_ when this ~ sign appears. The name between the two ~name~ is the person in who's POV I am telling the story. I really hope you enjoy reading! Lots of love! xox|| 

 

_**~DEREK~** _

Scott just burst into my loft and let himself fall onto my couch. Loudly. I mean, no problem Bro, it's not like I had other plans or like I needed some privacy. Just let yourself in and annoy the shit out of me. It's no big deal. "Here, the postman just gave that to me. It's for you, obviously." he held an envelope in his hands and waited for me to take it, but I couldn't. I just stared at it. "The postman?" I finally asked without taking my eyes off this mysterious piece of paper and raised one eyebrow in disbelieve. "Yes, the postman. Is there a problem?" "Yes there is. I never gave anyone my address but you guys. Well at least not this one. My post is normally sent to an apartment in the neighborhood which used to be my mother's. She rented it, but no one lived there since she died."

Scott looked at me like he needed a second to take that in, but suddenly he burst into laughter and held his stomach with one hand like he was about to lose it. Glad I can entertain him like that, asshole. "Wow. You're a real psychopath dude!" I rolled my eyes annoyed and waited for him to stop laughing but it seemed like I could wait for ages, so I just flashed my red eyes at him and he at least tried to shut the fuck up. "Are you done?" I asked, took the envelope out of his hand and walked to the dining table in the kitchen. Scott only nodded while he held his hand in front of his mouth probably to keep himself from loosing it again and followed me to the table. "Who do you think this is from?" he suddenly seemed to be as curious as I was and looked at me with crossed arms, raised eyebrows and a small smile at the corner of his lips.

I just shrugged and held the envelope up to my nose to check if it smelled suspicious in any way and of course Scott thought this was unbelievably funny "Oh god! You look like an idiot! Just open it already!" he slapped me playfully on my shoulder and grinned like a little kid. Disgusting. Again, I rolled my eyes but eventually opened that damn thing. There were three pieces of paper in it. One seemed to be a letter and the other two looked like photos. First I checked the letter. I wanted to know who sent me this and most importantly, why that person knew where Ilived. I started to read the letter and I'm sure I looked like a complete idiot when my mouth suddenly dropped into an O-shape the second I realized whom this is from and what it said. Thousands of memories came to my mind and I had to swallow a few times because it felt like there was a big lump in my throat. This couldn't be true. This was not possible. Was it? No...but...what?! "Derek? Derek are you alright? Who was it? Who wrote the letter?" Scott's voice was only a faint sound in the distance and I couldn't even make out what he said. All I could do was reading the letter over and over again, line for line.

 

_*Dear Derek,_

_I really hope you are Derek. I don't know if you do still live here after all these years but if you do, you sure are surprised right now. In the picture you can see a little girl, her name is Talia and she is your daughter. I'm sure you already recognized your lips and your hair. Believe me Derek, I am really sorry that I am telling you all of this only now and that I kept it to myself for all these years but she is growing up and I think that now she is able to understand everything. I'm aware that you have a lot of questions, like why did I name her after your mother? Why do I tell you all of this just now? Why do I tell you all of this in general? I wish I could answer all of your questions, but for the most of them, I do not really know the answer either. All I can say is that I named her Talia because in that very moment when I held her in my arms for the first time, I had to think of your mother. Even though I never met her, I know that she was as beautiful as my little girl and besides, I think it is a beautiful name for a beautiful child and it fits perfectly for a strong and cute girl like her. She is nearly 3 years old and an unbelievably open hearted and lovely little human being. Why I kept it for myself all this years....I don't really know. Maybe because our breakup was really hard for me or maybe because I was afraid of your reaction. I don't know. But anyway, that doesn't matter. I'm telling you now because I came to the conclusion that you deserve to know that she is alive and she deserves to know who her father is._

_I don't want your money or anything else. I just wanted you to know. I really hope you're fine! I hope the pack's fine too! Please tell them I love and miss them!_

_Love, -Y/N*_

 

I think I stared at the letter for ages, because suddenly Scott snatched it out of my hand and read it himself. His eyes doubled their size and he reached out for the envelope next to me on the dining table. I was unable to move and just kept staring at him while he started to smile from one ear to the other. His smile kept getting wider and wider as he hugged me tightly. I didn't move. I just couldn't. I couldn't believe this. All of this. Y/N has a daughter? I have a daughter? It's been more than three years then that I saw her for the very last time. Scott took a step back and handed me the pictures. "Here! Look at her, she is incredibly beautiful!" I took the photos with shaking hands and looked at them, looked at the photos of my daughter and damn he was right. She was more than beautiful. Absolutely breathtaking. On the picture was a perfect little girl with those beautiful shining eyes of her mother. I could see Y/N in front of me immediately and how she used to look into mine with those beautiful eyes of hers.

The little girls hair was straight and black, just like mine. She also had my mouth but the perfect little nose of her mother. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my entire life and she was supposed to be mine? I didn't know much about kids but she seemed to be around 2 years old on this picture. She had long hair and is walking around, at least that was what it looked like but as I already said, it was just a guess. With shaking hands I took the other picture and stopped breathing once again. Here, it was obvious that she was only a few weeks old when the photo was taken. The baby on the picture was the most perfect and cutest thing I had ever seen. I still couldn't believe that this was supposed to be my daughter, I mean I was not half as pretty as this little human on those pictures. "Derek? Are you okay?" I looked at Scott and realized that I had tears running down my cheeks.

"You really can be proud Bro! She is wonderful!" I smiled the brightest smile I ever smiled and nodded my head slowly. "Scott, I'm a father." That sentence sounded totally weird coming out of my mouth and I'd never imagined that I would say it one day but here I was holding pictures of my nearly three year old daughter in my hands. I instantly had to think about my mother and how happy and proud she would have been. "Yes you are. And you are the father of Y/N's child. Man, I really do miss her." My smile vanished immediately as I thought about her. In that very moment I became aware of the fact that I could be anything but proud of myself. Everybody can make children, but being a parent is something not everyone is capable of. I left her on her own with a little baby and a huge heartbreak that she got because I was a dumb-ass. I left her alone when she needed me the most.

"What should I do now?" I looked at Scott terrified. I think I'd never been this helpless in my entire life. "What is that supposed to mean -What should I do?- Isn't that obvious? You grab your car keys and drive to the mother of your child! Right now!" Scott nearly screamed in my face. "But what if she doesn't even want to see me? What if she only sent me this letter because she felt bad for keeping it to herself all these years?" Scott rolled his dark brown eyes and sighed dramatically before he came up to me and took me by the shoulders. Sometimes I really could punch him in the face. That sassy bastard. "Derek. You know her better than anybody else. So you know that she is not like that. She is the kindest and most open hearted person I know and I am 100% sure that she is happy to see you again. Yeah, I do even believe that she wrote the letter with the hope that you'll come after her and Talia."

For a short moment I was just standing there thinking about everything he said and everything that she wrote in her letter. But he was right. I couldn't chicken out again. That wouldn't be right. "You're right. I have to find her." Oh I really couldn't believe my own words back then but I knew it was right. Scott nodded and grabbed the envelope to search for an address. "I'm coming with you." He actually found an address that was only an one hour drive away from Beacon Hills and was about to run out the door when I stopped him. "No Scott. I have to do this alone." I looked at him with a strict look on my face and I could see the disappointment in his eyes. "But she misses us too and I miss her; I'm coming with you. I really wanna see her again dude." Oh dear Lord. Sometimes I thought only his body was growing and his brain was still in his 16 year old stage. "No Scott." I told him again.

"But..-"

"Scott, please!" I begged now because I really didn't want to have this conversation with him at that moment but as always he wasn't about to give up and used his fucking puppy dog eyes and so, I gave in, again. Why the hell was I even their Alpha? They never listened to me anyway. "Oh god, fine. First, I'm going alone but you can come after a few days okay? I'm sure I'll stay there some time to talk about everything and to find a solution with her about Talia and if she'll know about me and stuff. Just, wait a little okay? I'll call you as soon as things are less awkward." Scott didn't look pleased with my suggestion but after a long sigh he finally nodded. "Fine."

"And don't tell the pack yet."


	2. - Chapter 2 -

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek drives to Y/n to face his new life and his daughter. What could possibly go wrong right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am posting two chapters for now. Tell me if you like it and I will post more chapters.  
> Thanl you for reading! Xoxo

_**~ Derek ~** _

For some reason I thought that I had to wait another day before I drove to y/n's because it was too late to drive at 6pm. Which is total bullshit, obviously, I was just too afraid to face her immediately. So I drove there at 6 in the morning the next day, a Tuesday and realized that it was way too early when I got there within 45 minutes. This lead to me sitting in front of the house where her apartment was supposed to be in, in my car, like a total creep. Congratulations Derek, you really made it. Amazing.

When I finally grew a pair and walked up the stairs to find her apartment I could literally hear my bones shaking. What were I thinking to just drive here without letting her know that the man, she probably hated the most and who broke her heart into pieces, was coming to meet his daughter, who he didn't even knew he had. This was damned to end in a great disaster. After a good 10 minutes of walking around the house and pretending I couldn't find the right apartment, I finally stood in front of her door and held my fist up ready to knock. Well, not so ready to be honest, but there was no way back, so I just took a deep breath and knocked at the door. I waited a few minutes, or maybe it were seconds but it definitely felt like minutes, but nobody opened the door even though I could clearly hear two heartbeats on the other side of it. One tiny but fast heartbeat and one a litte bit stronger and slower. Just when I was about to give up and drive home, the door opened and a small, all too familiar girl looked at me with shock in her beautiful eyes.

"Hey y/n." I said and instantly wanted to run away because I sounded like a little girl asking her lifetime crush out on a date. I tried hard to keep a straight face, but failed miserably and probably looked like an idiot. Of course she looked absolutly stunning and I kicked my 23 years old me mentally in the balls for letting such a beautiful human being run out of my life. She wore her hair in perfect waves and wasn't wearing make up at all, still she looked amazing. I instantly remembered the night that I fell for her and felt the pressure in my chest and at the same time the strange feeling of finally finding that missing piece for a happy life. "Derek?...Hi? What are you doing here this early?" she looked like she'd seen a gohst and I didn't know why but it broke my heart. "Yeah, yeah sorry for that, I got your letter yesterday and...yeah I thought it would take me longer to get here." I noticed how my hands got sweaty and tried to wipe them on my pants without her noticing but her eyes scanned every movement of mine and I could have sworn I saw a little smile at the corner of her lips.

"Yeah the letter, right. Well, it's not really a good time now because I have to go to work and drive Talia to my mother, but I can leave earlier today and we can meet at the coffee shop round the corner at like 1pm?" it was just now that I realized that she wore an apron. So she worked as a barista maybe? Why? As far as I can remember she was about to finish her doctorate in architecture which means that she already should have been finished by the time we saw each other again, right? Or maybe she couldn't finish it beacause of the pregnancy and had to quit so she could take care of Talia, that actually made sense. I must have been staring because she waved her hand in front of my face and chuckled a bit when I realized that I zoned out.

"Still a man who gets easily lost in his thoughts I guess?" she smiled at me and I was more than glad that she wasn't a werewolf so she couldn't hear my heart speeding up. She was so beautiful and I tried not to look her in the eyes because I knew I'd get lost in them again. Instead I shook my head and tried to hide the smile at the corner of my mouth. "Yeah, I guess some things never change." Her smile vanished and she lowered her head when she whispered "Yeah, obviously." I wanted to say something when a little voice came from the room behind her. "Mommy? Where are uuuu?" she sang and my heart stutterd. How was she able to talk in sentences? She was only two years old wasn't she? I mean I don't know anything about babys but aren't they supposed to lay in a crib at that age? Y/n turned around and said "I'm at the door love! Just a few more seconds okay? Make sure you have Mr. Fluffy in your backpack!" just a little bit louder and got a loud "Otay!" as an answer. She turned her head again to look at me and smiled wide when she saw the grin on my face. "So 1pm?" She oviously caught me offguard, again and I needed a second to process what she meant by that. "What?...I mean yeah, sure. 1pm at the coffeeshop." She was still smiling when we said our goodbyes andshe closed the door behind me. I couldn't stop thinking about the little toddler's voice that belonged to my daughter that I haven't even met yet and her beautiful mother who once was the love of my life and who was still able to take my breath away by just looking me in the eyes.

I drove around the little town y/n lived in and thought about anything and nothing. I mean, wasn't it crazy how life could change within seconds? Just a minute before I opened that letter I was positive that I will never see Y/n again and that I would never smile again and die alone in the loft. Of course I had the pack, but it wasn't the same since she left. She was like my personal sun and the only reason I smiled. About 14 hours later, I had a daughter and waited for the lost-love-of-my-life to finish work so we could "catch up" or something. It was unbelievable. I didn't even knew what to think. The only thing I was 100% sure of, was that this woman will be the death for me. She still had this huge effect on me, where my head started spinning, my hands started sweating and my heart began to beat like crazy. If the little girl was half as amazing as her mother I would have a real problem. How was I supposed to be a good and sometimes strict parent when she was adorable like that? I answered the 100 text messages from Scott and the pack who asked where I was and when I'd be back and walked through the local park until I couldn't wait any longer. At 11:49 I sat in a booth in the coffeeshop, Y/n told me we should meet in, and drank one esspresso after the other. If I wasn't a werewolf I think that'd be pretty unhealthy. Well, about an hour later at 1:01pm the door of the coffeeshop opened and I knew it was her before I could even see her. I knew that smell better than any other in the world and I would recognize it under thousends of people. Even though she still smells the same like three years ago, there was something off with it but I couldn't put a finger on what it was. Maybe it was just the way her scent mixed with one of her customer's.

She didn't wear her apron anymore and had her hair in a ponytail when she sat down across from me and smiled like this was something we did everyday. Like we never broke up. "Hey! Sorry for being late! My boss wouldn't stop talking about his dog!" she smiled like her life depended on it and once more I was glad she couldn't hear my heartbeat. "You're not that late. It's only a few minutes, don't worry. How was work?"she shrugged her shoulders but the smile never left her lips. "Well, nobody spilled coffee on me so I think it was fine. What about you? What have you done all these hours?" I thought about lying to her and making something up that sounded cooler but in the end I went for the truth. "Oh I just drove around town and made time pass by." she nodded along and I had trouble not to get lost in her eyes. This was so not me. I never was the kind of guy who got nervous or scared or who had trouble breathing because of a woman. I was the silent guy who observed the situation rather than acting in the spotlight. But with her it was different. I was different. She changed me completely within seconds. I still didn't smile, but my heart was smiling all the time. Our little smalltalk got interrupted by the waitress who took our order and spent little too much time with smiling at me before she left with a last wink in my direction. I didn't smile back but that didn't seem to bother her.

 

**_~You~_ **

It was ridiculous how easy it was to talk to him. Of course the situation was still kind of awkward considering the fact that we broke up three years ago and that he just found out he had a daughter, but apart from that it felt nice to see his face and hear his voice again. I didn't have the feeling that Derek did change a lot over the years. There was a little more stouble on his cheeks and his hair grew just a little longer but it didn't look like he'd taken less care of himself. He was still a beautiful man with that broody frown on his face.

Derek and I were together for three and a half years before we broke up and I would be lying if I said I wasn't devestated but I had to be strong for two. So I pulled myself together and made the best out of the situation. Besides, I had amazing parents who helped me a lot during that time. "So, how have you been all these years?" I asked him and could see that Derek thought about what to answer carefully. I knew that he had a rough time after we broke up but I was still curious if he had someone or maybe a job or a new packmemeber or other stuff. He cleared his throat a few times and looked at the table instead of my eyes but when he finally answered his beautifull green-brown eyes found mine again. "You know we had a hard time protecting Beacon Hills from all kinds of supernatural creatures like witches, other werewolf packs, Wendigos, Deamons and many other shapeshifters. But about a year ago things stared to calm down and now it is really quiet so especially our young packmembers have the opportunity to live a mostly normal life. I personally spent a lot time with Cora and rebuilding the Halehouse. I think, no we think, that our parents would have wanted it that way. But other than that, I kind of did the things I always did."

"Like standing in the woods and staring at people like a total creep?" I didn't know why I said that, it kind of slipped out but I sure as hell didn't expect Derek to actually laugh. Yes, he laughed, like with teeth and stuff. "Yeah,for example." he smiled at me and it felt like he could read my thoughts with this intense stare. "I am really happy to hear that Derek. Like the thing with your old house and that things got quiet in Beacon Hills. How is the pack?" When I mentioned the pack, Derek's smile was back. Well, somebody who didn't knew Derek as well as I did may wouldn't be able to see it. But from me, he couldn't hide that small smile at the corner of his lips. I really missed that smile. "Oh they are doing good! Scott is becoming a vet and Stiles and Isaac are about to be deputys so they are able to help the Sheriff legally. Well the others are traveling a lot. You remember Malia? The werecoyote? She loves to drive around the states with her father and just enjoy life and nature. Lydia finally wrapped her mind around her feelings for Stiles and they are together for about a year now and she is about to find a complicated formula for something that has to do with maths, but I really don't know what she is doing there. We do also have some new packmembers like Kira who is Scott's girlfriend by the way, and Liam. They are still learning but they are on a good way. Well, a lot of things have changed you know but, I think I wouldn't want it any other way, well except for..." he looked like he got lost in his thoughts and even though I waited for him to finish he just stared lost at his hands. "Except for what?" I asked. He sighed and finally looked at me with this look in his eyes that I saw maybe once or twice, ever. I think it is sadness?

"There was a time when a dark spirit called Nogitsune posessed Stiles and yeah it is a long story but the end of it is, that Allison didn't make it. She died in a fight against the Nogitsune and the Oni. It wasn't Stiles' fault, he couldn't do anything about it but it was a really hard time for all of us but especially for Scott, Isaac and Stiles of course. He still thinks it is his fault, even though we all know it isn't. I know that...Y/n? Hey, don't cry please!" I tried, but I couldn't hold it back. Allison was dead? How? She was so strong and a badass huntress. I couldn't believe she was really dead. I couldn't hear the words Derek was saying until I felt an arm around my shoulder and a hand in my hair. He came to my side of the table and sat beside me while he held me tight against his chest and just let me cry silently in his shirt. "I'm sorry Y/n. I shouldn't have told you like that." I wasn't able to answer and he understood. He just held me like he used to do when we were after a supernatural creature and things got too much for me. While I cried in Derek's arms I rembered everything Allison and I did together. Every dogjoke we made about our boyfriends, every night we spent together and talked about girlstuff, every time we couldn't stop laughing in class, every hug and cheek-kiss, just everything. She was one of the greatest people I knew and I really wanted to punch myself in the face for not keeping in touch with her after I left Beacon Hills. I was too afraid that anyone would find out about Talia. I abandoned her. I abandoned my best friend and now she is dead.

I didn't know how long we sat there and I really didn't care. But when I was done crying Derek wiped away the tears on my cheek and had this look of guilt in his eyes. "I'm sorry." he said again but I shook my head no. "It's not your fault. I just wish I could have been there. I can't believe she is really dead. But I am glad that you told me now, thank you!" He just nodded once and suddenly the arm around my shoulder was gone and so was Derek. He sat across from me now and looked like he was in pain. I didn't know why, but it bothered me to see him like that. "So tell me, how have you been? What did you do after you left Beacon Hills?" Derek's expression was blank. There was no smile, no frown, not even the slightest sign of a twitching muscle. I took a deep breath and wiped away the last tears under my eyes and started to tell him what I've been up to.

"Well, at first I tried to wrap my head around the fact that I am going to be a mom and that I am going to be a singlemom. You can imagine that this is kind of hard for a 22 year old I mean, I was going to finish my doctorate in architechture. So I went back to my parent's house and of course they allowed me to stay as long as I needed to, so there was one problem less. I continued to go to school, wearing oversized shirts and hoodies so nobody would see the already visible babybump I had, which was normal considering the fact that I was already two and a half months pregnant when we broke up. So I..." "You were what?" Derek had pure shock in his eyes and his mouth was slightly opened. "I was two and a half months pregnant when we broke up." I repeated and I could see how the colour of Derek's face slowly changed into an unhealthy white. "That isn't...I mean I should have heard the second heartbeat! How is it possible I missed that?" I was pretty sure that I have never seen Derek that confused and helpless. It is kind of mean, but I think it is hilarious. "Well, you weren't at home much at that time and when you were, you had packstuff to do and you locked yourself in your office to do research or we fought. It was a rough time. I mean you weren't at home for about 90% of the nights and when you were you slept on the sofa downstairs." I didn't want to raise my voice but it kind of just happened. I felt bad the second I said all of that and wanted to apologize but Derek shook his head no. "It's fine. You're right. But why didn't you tell me?" he looked devestated and sad and again it broke my heart because I know he isn't angry at me or sad because of the things I said but because he hates himself right now.

I know him so well that I can tell by his expression when he feels guilty for something. And that is one of them. "I couldn't, even if I wanted to. I didn't knew. I mean we didn't try to get pregnant so I never checked. You know I do not get my period because of those hormon syringe. I went to the Doctor because I felt sick. Like I felt dizzy and I threw up in the mornings. I never expected a pregnany to be the cause but yeah, the Doctor told me otherwise. It was the morning we broke up that I got the big news. I was shocked at first but then I started to feel happy and excited about it and I couldn't wait to tell you. I thought everything will get better and that you will make more time for the two, well three of us. I really thought everything will get better." Derek's eyes where darted to the table infront of him and it looked like he was back at that day where everything broke apart. So I let him be in the past and just told him my point of view.

 

**_~Derek~_ **

****FLASHBACK****

"Yeah Scott, I'll just grab a new shirt and then I'll come to the station. Tell the others to be there at ten." I hung up before he could answer and opened the door to the loft. Even before I opened it completely I smelled that amazing scent of my favorite food and the fresh scent of my girlfriend. "Derek? Is that you?" her voice came from the kitchen so I followed the smell and her voice and found her at the stoven. "Hey Baby." she said and smiled at me. Why is she so happy? I haven't seen her this happy in months. "Hey." I said and kissed her on the cheek. "What is all that for?" She smiled even wider and gave me a kiss on the lips befor she brought the food to the dining table. "We have to celebrate something special!" I instantly searched my mind for dates of anniversarys or birthdays and compared them to today's date, but I couldn't find a reason to celebrate.

"And what is it that we have to celebrate?" I asked her confused and stood infront of the beautiful decorated table. There were candles and the best tableware that we had, a red tablecloth made the picture just perfect. "Take a seat and I'll tell you." she grined at me like a little girl and I really wanted nothing more than to sit down with her, eat and hear what she got to tell me, but I knew I couldn't. "Baby, all of that is amazing but I really have to go again." her smile vanished instantly and she tried not to break the table into two. At least that was what her face looked like, she looked really pissed. "I haven't seen you all day, no all week and I just cooked two hours for you and you wanna leave before you are even at home? Are you being serious?" her neck and her cheeks were getting red and her heart beat like hell. "Y/n you have to understand. There is something that is threatening the town and we have to take care of it. When I come home we can talk and eat together okay? Please." "I have to understand? I have to understand since months Derek! All you care about is the pack. Remember when you told me last week you have to go to Scott's because of packbusiness? Well guess what, I met Scott a few hours later and he had no idea about any packbusiness you two had to take care of."

She was screaming and the vein on her neck was visible by now. "What are you trying to say?" I asked and yes, I got upset too. "I don't know! You tell me Derek! Where are you really when you tell me you are out with the pack? Why can I never come with you? Where are you when you do not come home at night? What's her name? Huh?" she was screaming so loud that I thought I may loose my hearing. But I couldn't believe what she just said. She thought I was cheating? Really? Me cheating? "You think I'm cheating on you? Seriously? You really think I'd do that to you? After all these years?" my voice was way too loud and I knew that but to hear that she really thought that I would break her heart like that....I can't even describe how that felt. "The Derek that is standing in front of me right now, is not the Derek that I fell in love with three and a half years ago." she turned around and walked to the window. She just stood there and tried to calm herself down but it didn't work. I could smell the tears running down her cheek and it broke my heart. This whole situation broke my heart. But I was just a dumb, stubborn werewolf who thought he had to be strong and win the fight.

So instead of walking to her and telling her that I love her more than anything in the world and that she is the woman I want to spent the rest of my life with, I turned around and walked upstairs, grabbed a new Shirt and washed my face so the others wouldn't smell the tears I couldn't hold back. When I walked back downstairs she sat at the dining table. Her hands folded in front of her face and her eyes closed. The whole room smelled of sadness and tears and I kicked myself in the balls for leaving her, again. Just before I opened the door I heared her low, sad voice begging "Please Derek. Please don't leave. Not today. I can't do this anymore." she cried and I knew if I turned around I would stay, so I just said "I'm sorry." and opened the door. Before I closed the door behind me I heared her scream for the last time. "If you leave now, I swear to god I won't be here when you come back!" I bit my lip, closed the door and left.

*****END OF FLASHBACK*****

That was the biggest mistake of my life and I regret it every day. I lost her and it was my fault.


	3. - Chapter 3 -

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek and Y/n have a lot to talk about and things get pretty emotional. Will Y/n let Derek meet Talia? And will things turn out great?   
> Read the chapter to find out haha :) xo

_**~ Derek ~**_ )

"Derek? Hey! Derek!" I saw a hand in front of my face and felt the touch of a hand that didn't belong to me. "Derek, are you alright?" It took me a few more seconds to recognize Y/n who was still sitting in front of me but now she had both of her hands on my forearm. "Sorry." I murmured and shook my head a little so I could push away all of the sad memories. "You don't have to be sorry! I get that this is a lot to take in! And I am sorry that I just told you like that. I should have found another way to tell you everything." Her thumb circled over my arm and I didn't know why but I really enjoyed her touch.   
"No it is alright. Sure it is a lot to take in but I am glad I know now. I really had no fucking clue that you were pregnant or that I was such a great douchbag. I am really sorry. For everything. If I could turn back time.." "It wouldn't change a thing." she interrupted me and I didn't know what to say except for "Why?" She sighed and leaned back in her seat and I instanly missed her touch on my arm. "Derek we weren't happy anymore. You were out all the time and I was pissed all the time. Sooner or later we would have broken up because it just didn't work out anymore."   
She looked straight into my eyes but I could hear her heart. It stuttered when she said that sentence. She lied. She didn't mean it. I thought about if I should point out that I could hear her heart but in the end I didn't. Instead I didn't say anything at all and just stared in front of me like I always do when I don't want to say anything.

After a good five minutes Y/n took her phone out of her purse and searched for something. After another three minutes she gave me her phone and just said "That is a whole album just about and with Talia. All pictures I took the last three years. Maybe you want to look at it."I took the phone with shaking hands and started to look through the album. There were at least a thousend pictures in it and I loved all of them.  
There were photos from her laying in a crib, just smiling at her mother behind the camera, photos of her and Y/n cuddling on a sofa, videos of her trying to walk her first steps, photos of her eating on her own with a little plastic fork for children, photos of her with different people like her gradparents and friends of Y/n's, so many photos and videos of important moments of Talia's life. Moments I missed. Moments I will never be part of because I wasn't there. It must've been obvious that I was sad and happy at the same time because suddenly I felt a hand on my arm, again.   
"Hey, everything alright?" I looked at the mother of my child and smiled like I have never before. "Yeah and no. I mean, it is just really overwhelming to see those pictures. But you know, I wasn't there and I will never be able to see those things. Her first steps, her first word, her first time eating real food. I don't know. Mixed feelings I guess."  
I waited for an answer from Y/n but she just looked at me and smiled. I didn't know why, but she seemed kind of relieved for some reason. "What?" I asked after a few minutes but I couldn't hold back the smile that came across my face when I saw her's. 

"You're right. You will never be able to see her first steps or to hear her say her first word or to live any other memory on those pictures." she looked at her hand on my arm and sighed before her eyes found mine again. "But you can start and make new ones." At first I didn't know what exactly she wanted to say until...no that couldn't be true. "You mean..." I started but got interrupted quickly. "Do you want to meet her?" Those six words made my day, no my week. "You sure you want that?" I asked and got an exaggerated eyerole as a response. "You are her father. First of all, you got a right to see her and second, I told her who you are and showed her pictures of you since she could understand the words I was saying. I always told her that you were at work but that you will come home to her one day and that you love and miss her. I knew that I couldn't just forbid her to know who her father was and of course this was never my plan. I know that it wasn't really smart to not tell you that I was pregnant but I was scared. Now I know it was a big mistake and I'm sorry. Both of you deserve to at least have the chance to get to know each other." she looked sad in some kind of way but I didn't know why. "So does that mean that you give me the chance to make up for all these years?" I asked and again it felt like ages until she answered. "I guess. But only under one condition. If I introduce you to her, and if you become a part of her life, there is no way back. I want you to be 100% sure that you want to be her father. I don't need money or anything else. I want you to love her and to be there for her. She needs it. She needs her Daddy. So if you're going to meet her, you can't just leave after a month and say that this is not for you, that you can't take the responsibility to be a father. She is such a lovely and wonderful child and I love her more than anything and I would die for her smile right away, so I won't risk her happiness if you are not positive that you would do the same." this wasn't a friendly talk anymore. She stared me down and her gaze was strict and serious.   
"Of course. I want this, I swear to god that I will take the responsibility to be a father and that I will support you and Talia in every way possible." I held her hand and she looked at me with something that looked like relief.   
"Good.." she whispered and smiled at me shyly. 

 

_**~YOU~**_ )  
It made me more than happy to hear that Derek really wanted to take the responsibility and that he was 100% sure that he wanted to be her father. I would have never believed that this letter would change mine and Talia's life like that, but I wouldn't want it any other way. Of course I was nervous as hell. Talia was my little angel. My life. I knew her better than anyone else on this planet but I had no clue how she would react if I told her that she would meet her Daddy. When she asked me when Daddy will be home I always told her "When time is right Honey." and then she would smile at me and continue playing with Mr. Fluffy. It was like she knew what happened between me and Derek even though this was impossible because I never told her and I always made sure she wasn't within earshot when I talked about it with anybody. I always thought that she felt it, I didn't know how, but yeah. 

I talked to Derek about how we wanted to do this whole 'introducing-thing' and came to the conclusion that after I picked Talia up from my mother's, we'd eat dinner and then I would tell her about Derek and that he was about to come home. When she wanted to meet him, I'd call Derek and tell him to come over and then the rest will hopefully work out itself. Derek and I soon said our Goodbyes and I drove to my parent's house to pick my little angle up. When I arrived, the front door swung open before I could even get out of the car and my daughter ran across the driveway and stumbled in my arms. "Mommy!" she screamd when I held her tight and kissed her face repeatedly.   
"Hey babygirl. How are you?" I asked her and gave her one last kiss on the nose. "M'good." she said and wrapped her little arms around my neck. I walked inside with her still on my hip and greeted my parents who stood in the hallway and waited for me. "Hey!" I greeted them and hugged them both before I let Talia down and told her to grab her backpack from her room. "How was the meeting with Derek?" my mother asked and I sighed loudly.   
"Emotional but we got to talk about a lot of things and I think that he is really serious about Talia. I think he wants to be her father, I mean he always will be her father but you get my point right?" My mother just nodded and my dad turned around and went to the living room without saying anything. It's not that they don't like Derek, actually they loved him and they always told me how wrong the decision was to not tell him about Talia. They are just scared that all of that drama will be too much for her. "How are the two of you planning to do the introduction?" my mom asked and looked at me worried. "I will talk to her later and ask her if she is willing to meet him. If she wants too, we give it a shot, if she doesn't, we will give her more time." now it was my mother's turn to sigh. "And you really think he is serious about this?" "Yes mom. You should have seen his face when he saw all the pictures from the last years and besides it's not his fault that he couldn't be there for her. It was mine. So I think he at least deserves a chance." Talia came back in the room and had her backpack on her tiny shoulders. "I am ready." she giggled and held her hand out. "Don't you want to say goodbye to grandpa?" I asked her and suddenly she had pure horror in her eyes, like she couldn't believe she forgot grandpa. She stormed off into the living room and that was when I felt my mother's hand on my shoulder. "Have you told him abou..." I didn't let her finish her sentence and cut her off with a short "No." Mom opened her mouth to start a discussion abot this but gladly Talia came back before she could say anything. "Bye Talia." my mom said and hugged her tight, then I grabbed her little hand and made my way out of there as fast as I could. 

When we got home Talia was still rambling about her day and how she and grandpa built a fort as huge as the sky. I smiled at her nearly all the time and made a comment here and there so she knew I was listening. "You wanna watch some TV until dinner is ready?" I asked her and she jumped up and down of excitement and ran to the sofa. I turned the TV on and changed the channel to one of the many children's channel and started cooking some pasta. 

When I was ready with cooking and set the table I grabbed my little girl and sat her on one of the chairs. "Mommy can we built a fort?" she asked with her sweetest voice and blinked at me through her long, black eyelashes. "But you already built one today, didn't you?" I said and smiled at her. "But 's fun!" now she didn't smile anymore. She crossed her arms infront of her chest and looked at me angry. "Look, first I want you to eat your food and then I have to tell you something. If there is time after that, we can built a fort in your room and sleep in it together okay?" Her face lit up instantly and her smile couldn't be bigger. "Yay!" she squealed and hurried to eat her pasta. 

After dinner, I washed the dishes and grabbed some juice for Talia before I sat down with her in the living room. She is a really smart kid with a great memory, so she remembered that I wanted to talk to her about something. "You smell nervous mum." she said and grabbed my hand with her's. "Well, honey you know that when you asked me about your Daddy I always said that he is at work and that he will be home soon right?" she just nodded and took another sip from her sippy cup. "Today, your Dad called me and told me that he is done working. So he wants to come and see you." I waited for a reaction, but I didn't get any. Not even a move of a muscle. She just stared at me with wide eyes. "But before I tell him to come over, I wanted to ask you first. What do you think about meeting your Daddy? Do you want him to come here?" I asked and even I heard my heart beating loudly.

Talia still stared at me but suddenly she touched my chest right above my heart. "Mommy are you scared? Your heart's fast." she actually looked worried, she is so lovely. "No Baby, I'm not scared. I am just nervous if you want to meet your Daddy. I know that he really wants to meet you. He misses you like hell." with that, her face lit up. I didn't know if she smiled because I wasn't scared or because her father missed her but she just smiled one of the brightest smiles I have ever seen. "You'll stay, yes?" she asked and I cupped her cheeks with my hands and kissed her on the forehead. "Of course I will be here. I will never leave you babygirl." "Pomise?" she held her pinkie finger out and I linked mine with her's. "Pinky promise." she giggled again and gave me a wet kiss on my cheek. "Otay. Daddy can come." she smiled and put her hand back on my heart. "That's better." 

I didn't know how she could be so mature and caring with just three, but I am pround like hell. We cuddled a few minutes before Talia asked me to read a book to her. When she was in her room to choose a book I called Derek. After the second ring he answered the phone and I could hear how nervous he was, just by the way he said my name. "Y/n?" I smiled and waited another few seconds befor I said "Be here in 15 minutes." and hung up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So chapter three is up, please tell me what you think and don't forget to leave Kudos if you liked it:)
> 
> xoxo


	4. - Chapter 4 -

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek and Talia meet each other for the first time and no matter what Derek expected, his little dughter was even more perfect than he thought was possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry it took me so long to update. I hope you enjoy! xo

~ Derek ~

I was driving around town when I got the call from y/n. I was already shaking when I accepted it but I was definitely close to becoming an comatose when she hung up on me with the words "  
Be here in 15 minutes.". I broke at least a hundred laws on my way to her appartment and my breathing got heavier with every second.

I really hoped that Talia wanted to meet me, but I never expected it to happen so soon. Well, I never expected anything of this to happen. Meeting y/n again after all these years, realizing how much of a douchbag I was back then and being told that I had a daughter wasn't really something you expected to happen any day so, yeah.

Even though I knew what Talia looked like, I imagined how she'd talk or walk or what her voice sounded like. How should I explain everything to her? Did y/n already explain things? Should I hug her or give her a handshake? No, you don't give three years old's a handshake. This was ridiculous. But on the other hand, I didn't have a clue what you do with baby's. Was she even a baby anymore or was she already a child? Did that even matter?

Oh dear Lord, I'm fucked.

When I stopped at a red light I tried to remember what it was like to take care of my little sister Cora when she was younger and how I dealt with that. We were a lot on our own when we were kids, because our parents had to protect Beacon Hills and talked to other packs and stuff. Laura and Peter mostly took care of us. I was a kid myself so I didn't really care how to take care of a baby. Laura did that for me most of the time. Besides , we were werewolf babys. They were different, than human babys weren't they?

When the light got green I sped up and drove fast down the road. I was almost there. When I drove around the corner into the street where y/n and Talia lived, something came up my mind.

What if Talia wasn't human either? Our dad was human and our mum was a werewolf and all three of us were born werewolfs. So, there was a possibility that Talia was a werewolf too right? That would make things easier wouldn't it? To be honest, I didn't even know the answer to that. I was about to freak out anyway.

When I parked my car infront of her house I looked at myself in the rearview mirror and took a deep, deep breath. And another one. And one more. When I was sure I wouldn't faint I got out the car and made my way to her appartment.

On the fifth floor I stopped and took another few breaths before I walked up to her door and listened. On the other side of the door I could hear two heartbeats. One fast heartbeat from a little toddler's heart and one slower heartbeat that didn't sound as strong as it should be, but I guessed y/n was just tired. I knocked at the door twice and stepped one step back so that I wouldn't jump into that little girls face.

"Did you hear that? Your Daddy is here." y/n said and I could hear how the little heartbeat got even faster. "Come on Honey, you want to open the door with me?" again, the little heartbeat gained speed and I felt horribly sorry for her. That must've been pure stress for the little princess. Wait, did I just say that?

"Look baby, I know that this is much to take in. But I already told you, I will always be by your side okay? I promised. Nothing is going to happen and I know that your daddy is as excited as you are. So what about I pick you up and we go and welcome him together so the two of you can say hello to each other? I promise that everything will be alright. Okay?" my inner wolf wanted to howl at that. The mother of my child taking such good care of our little one just warmed my heart.

"Otay. But I want to be carried." Talia whispered and then I heared some ruffled noices followed by footsteps towards the door.

Oh my god. Now there was no way back. I just had to face her now, I had to face my daughter.

Soon the door swung open and I saw her for the first time. Well, I saw half of her because she tried to hide behind her mother's neck. Y/n had a wide smile on her face and greeted me after she kissed our daughter's head. "Talia, this is your daddy Derek. Come on love, say hello." she turned her around in her arms so she had to look at me and again I felt sorry for her.

I was so nervous the whole time and even practiced smiling in the car, but in the very moment that I looked into her eyes, all I could think about was how beautiful and gorgeous she was and how much I already loved her. Suddenly I smiled from one ear to the other, a true and honest smile and reached my hand out to take hers. "Hey Talia, I am very lucky to finally meet you." I said and grabbed her little fist. So much for not shaking a three years old's hand. First she looked at her mother for help but when y/n just smiled at her she looked right back into my eyes and said a shy "Hello." which warmed my body from the inside.

"Come on in Derek." y/n said and stepped aside so I could come inside. I followed her into a small but cosy living room but I couldn't focus on the things around me. All I could look at was the black haired bundle of joy that watched me closely from behind her mothers shoulder.

When I sat down on the light brown sofa I took a big wiff of the smell of the appartment and for a moment I thought I'll drown in it. It was a mixture of y/n's and Talia's smell and I was sure that this was going to be my new favourite scent. As I sat there and smelled the scent of the appartment, that was when I realized it. Talia didn't smell like her mother. She didn't smell human. She was a little werewolf baby.

I didn't know why but I had mixed feelings about this fact. I never regretted to be born a werewolf and I loved the strength, the supernatural senses and the healing ability, but I knew how dangerous the life of a werewolf could be and how hard it is to get the control over your power. I didn't want Talia to have the same fucked up life that I had, where nearly everyone wanted my death or my power, which often came together. I wanted her to grow up safely in a normal life so maybe being a werewolf isn't as good as I thought.

My thoughts got pushed aside when y/n spoke up again. "Baby? Why don't you show Derek the picture you drew at your grandma's? I think it must still be in your backpack." she smiled at Talia and again my heart warmed up at the sight of Talia's excitement when she ran out of the room, to the kitchen I think.

"So? How are you holding up Mr. Alpha?" y/n said with a mischievous grin on her face. "Well, my heart is still beating so I guess I'm alright." I answered and couldn't hide the smile on my face.

Y/n was about to answer something but got interrupted by the sound of a crying child. Y/n and I got up immediately and ran to the other room where Talia sat on the floor with her backpack on her lap and a wet white paper in her hand.

"What's up Talia? Why you're crying?" y/n squatted beside her and stroke her black hair. "Evithing's wet." Talia said and then I smelled the strong scent of orange juice in the room. Her bottle of juice must have had a leak or something and now she was sad because the juice ruined her drawing.

"Shh." y/n tried to calm her down while I was just standing in the corner of the room, awkwardly, until I had an idea. I stepped up to the two of them until I was just a few inches in front of them and squatted down beside y/n. "Hey Talia, I'm sorry that your drawing got wet but what do you think about if you and me draw another picture in the living room while your mommy cleans up the floor and your backpack?" I couldn't believe my own words but I looked her right in the eyes and tried to not look too hopeful. Talia looked at her mom and waited for a reaction or approvement and when y/n said "I think this is a great idea, what do you think?" the little toddler's face lit up and she got up fastly to run in another room, probably her's, to grab the stuff she needed to draw a picture.

When y/n got up as well she laid a hand on my arm and gave me the warmest smile I have ever seen. Before I even knew it, I found myself getting lost in her eyes and suddenly my body leaned in to kiss her. Gladly, Talia came running out of her room and went sraight up to the living room before I could do anything we might would've regretted later.

"C'mon Dewek! Let's draw!" she screamed and came back, running out of the living room to grab my hand and drag me with her to the coffetable, where she already sat everything up. Well, let's draw.

We were about to draw the castle behind the princess when y/n joined us. "Mommy, look! That's you!" Talia squealed and pointed at the princess. "Wow! Thank you honey! You made me look way better than I look in reallife." Talia giggled at that and climbed on her mother's lap.

I couldn't help but notice how tired and exhausted y/n looked, but I didn't want to ask in front of Talia. Maybe she just had a tough day at work or something.

"Talia, it is already late. Let's go brush your teeth and get you into bed okay?" she tried to sound strict but she couldn't stop placing little kisses on her daughter's temple.

"But mommy we're not finished yet! Dewek has to finish the castle first." she pointed at me and crossed her arms infront of her chest. Something I do when I get upset.

"You two can finish the drawing tomorrow. But now it is time for bed." she got up and picked the little screaming child up to drag her to the bathroom. "Talia. Enough!"

I listened how she tried to brush her teeth but Talia seemed to refuse every attempt y/n started. "Remember what you wanted to do tonight?" y/n finally asked without raising her voice.

Talia seemed to think about that for a minute and I could hear the jump in her heartbeat when she realized what her mother meant. "Build a fort."

"Yes. So be a good girl and let me get you ready for bed if you still want to build one. Otherwise I won't even tell you a bedtime story before you go to sleep." she sounded strict and serious now and it worked. Talia let her brush her teeth without a single noice and went straight to her room after that.

Y/n soon came into the living room again and smiled at me, looking even more exhausted than before. "So, we were wondering if you wanted to build the fort with us? I understand when you don't want to, I mean it's late and..." I quickly interrupted her and got up. "I want to build the fort with you two." I said and smiled at her. She really could need some help with that, that's obvious. The bags under her eyes were dark and she could bearly keep her eyes open.

We went to Talia's room and started to build the fort with blankets and pillows and other stuff Talia has in her room. It was by far the biggest room in the appartment and also the prettiest. It was so colourful and lovely decorated with butterflies and unicorns on the walls, different kinds of dolls and action figures, a table for teapartys and a lot of books. There were more toys in this room than me, Cora and Laura had all together and so many stuffed animals you could build a fort just with them. It was truly beautiful, but it was obvious where y/n had her priorities. First her daughter, then herself. She was a truly good soul. I knew that before, but this, this points it out even more.

When Talia was happy with her fort the two of them lay down together on the many blankets and Talia handed her mother a book that she wanted her to reed for her. "Baby, I am really tired, let's please just go to sleep okay?" y/n really looked tired. Talia already threw the book across the room and snuggled herself close to her mum. "Sorry mummy." she whispered and I think I heared a few sniffs. "It's okay. It's not your fault. Everything's fine. It was just a hard day." I wanted to stay but I saw how both of them were already drifting of so I looked at them one last time before I turned around to leave.

When I was at the door to Talia's room I heared y/n voice talk to me. "Hey, where do you think you're going? It is more comfortable than it looks like. Believe me." First I didn't really get what she meant but then it clicked and my heartbeat became 100 times faster. "You want me to..?" I couldn't finish my sentence, but I didn't need to. Y/n was already making some space for me next to Talia where I could lay down and grabbed a blanket from behind her and put it on the place where I was supposed to sleep. I shoved off my shoes and slowly went over to them, trying not to wake Talia.

When I layed down I looked next to me and smiled back at y/n beautiful face. She whispered a quiet "Good night Derek." and closed her eyes and all I could answer was"Good night." before I heared her heart already slowing down to a peaceful and steady rythm.

I listened to their heartbeats for a while before I realized that I was falling asleep too, which was strange because it was only 8:30pm. I think it was the wolf-den atomsphere in the fort and of course, the comforting scent of my girlfri...of the mother of my child and my daughter mixed to gether with my own.

I smiled one last time, before I let myself drift off to sleep.

 

*YOU*

When I woke up I was freezing. Of course Talia just stole the blanket and rolled herself up in it like a little spring role. I rubbed my eyes and looked around to check if Derek was still there. Well, he was. Not only that but he was curled around Talia with his nose burried in her hair and his arms around her little body. Talia was calmly drooling on his arm and made happy sleeping noises. It was a god given sight, honestly.

Of course I couldn't just let this happen undocumented so I sneaked out of Talia's room and grabbed my phone from the coffetable. When I came back in her room, they were still snuggeling up against each other and fast asleep. I took a few pictures and closed the door behind me as I went back to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

It was Wednesday, but it was also my free day so why not having pancakes for breakfast? I hummed to myself while preparing the dough and didn't hear Derek coming into the kitchen.

"Morning." he said and I jumped at the sound of his voice. He had this rusky morning voice that I used to love and find extremly sexy, well maybe I still do but who cares.

"Good morning. How did you sleep?" I asked and turned around with a big grin on my face. I wanted to mock him a little but he just smiled and looked abcently out the window. "Amazing. What about you?" he asked and sat on a chair by the kitchen counter.

"Good, thanks. Coffee?" I could see his happy face when I held the pot of freshly brewed coffe up and filled his mug with it . "Still drinking it black?" I raised my eyebrows and he just nodded once. He nearly choked the whole mug down in one sip when I handed it over and I couldn't help but laugh at him.

"What?" he asked and looked confused "You know I need my caffeine!" he looked at me with pleading eyes and I refilled his mug, shaking my head at him with a smile on my lips. He didn't change at all.

"So? What do you think about your first day as a dad?" I asked carefully but again, he only smiled. "It was alright." he answered shortly and again, I raised one eyebrow.

"What does alright mean?" he thought about that before he answered and I used the time to start making the first pancake, with chochlate chips for Talia.

"She is really amazing and I really enjoyed yesterday. Sure it seems like a lot of work and responsibility but I really think, no I'm sure that I want to take it. By the way, I am really impressed how you manage all of this. Really. I knew you were strong but man, you are wonderwoman!" I turned around to give him a funny look but he looked at his mug and it seemed like he didn't even realize what he just said.

I just continued making the panckes, but I couldn't stop smiling.

"Where are you even staying?" I asked him and guessed by his look, he was somewhere else in his head. He needed a second to get the question before he could answer but when he did, he souned like he was back to earth. "Don't know yet. I think I'll get a hotelroom or maybe I'll drive home for the nights, I mean it's just an hour drive."

"You can stay here if you want to. I can sleep on the couch and you can have my bed I think it would be good for Talia to have you here you know? So the two of you get to know each other better." by now I finished Talia's chochlate chip pankcakes and started to make Derek's blueberry ones. He used to like them, so I just started to make them without really thinking about it.

"No. You are not going to sleep on the sofa. I will." he said and I wanted to protest but the look on his face made clear that there was no point in discussing this. He made a decision and there's no way back.

"Fine." I said, just when I heared Talia's voice from the other room. "Mommy?" she yelled and I answered "In the kitchen." in my normal talking voice because I know that she can hear me anyway.

She came running in the kitchen and I bearly had time to put down the flipper and bow down to her before she crashed into my arms and gave me a wet kiss on the cheek.

"Good morning sunshine." I said and kissed every part of her face that I could reach, which made her giggle loudly. "How did you sleep?" I asked and she swung her arms around my neck and layed her head on my shoulder when she mumbled a sleepy "Good." into my neck.

"Would you be so kind and help Derek to set the table while I finish breakfast?" I asked and let her down carefully. She rubbed her eyes and nodded slowly when her nostrils suddenly flattered. She caught the pancakes scent. "Pantates?" she squealed and jumped up and down. "Yes." I laughed and Derek got up from his seat to help Talia set the table.

After everything is ready I fixed the plates for everybody and put them infront of them. First Talia's with chochlate chip pancakes, then Derek's with blueberry pancakes and last but not least mine with basic pancakes.

When I sat down and cut Talia's pancakes in little pieces I noticed how Derek stared at me. He looked almost shocked.

"What is it?" I asked and gave Talia her plate back which she attacked with her little children's fork before I could even set it down.

Derek seemed to notice he was staring and shook is head a little before he looked back on his plate. "Nothing." he said and started to eat.

"No, seriously what is it? Did I do something wrong? Don't you like your pancakes with blueberries anymore?" he looked at me and shook his head again. "No, its's just, I can't believe you actually remember that. After all these years."

"Hey, I don't have dementia and I made you pancakes for nearly three years. You'd be surprised what I still know about you and the pack." I winked at him and somehow that made him smile.

After that we ate in silence, yes even Talia managed to be silent for a few minutes. The power of pancakes.

When I've cleaned the kitchen and washed the dishes I joined my little 'family' in the living room. They were finishing their drawing from yesterday and I had to admitt that it was nice to have some help with Talia and to be able to just sit for a moment without having to do anything. I really love her and she is everything to me, but a little nearly - three year old can be really hard sometimes.

When Talia watched some cartoons and Derek went to the kitchen to get some water I followed him and closed the door behind me. "Hey." I said and he turned around and raised an eyebrow. Typical Derek, he is still killing the eyebrow game.

"Hey, everthing ok?" he asked and came up to me. "Yeah everything's alright. But I have to get something from the store so I have to bring Talia to my parents. It won't be long, just about an hour or so. I don't know if you want to stay here in the meantime or if you want to grab some things from home or just walk around the neighborhood."

"I have everything I need in my car but I guess I just look around the town then." he said, looking sad.

"Hey, you ok?" I asked and he looked me straight in the eyes. "Yeah but I mean, you can leave her here. With me. I know it is soon but I really would love to spent some time with her and so you don't have to drive all the way to your parents' and pick her up again later. I could just watch her. If you're okay with that, I get if you're not." I couldn't help but be proud. I didn't even know why but it made me happy and proud how well Derek handled all of that. So I smiled and nodded my head. "Yes. That sounds great. I'll just ask Talia if she is okay with it but I am sure it won't be a problem if you watch Frozen with her." he laughed at that and I felt that warm feeling in my heart when I heared it.

We looked at each other for a moment before I pulled him into a hug and whispered a "Thank you." in his ear.


	5. -Chapter 5-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek really got used to the feeling of being with a toddler and he actually made a good job. But when he catched Y/n doing something he never expected her to do, things went down. Was it his fault? Why would she do this?

~Derek~

Talia and I started to watch Frozen while y/n was getting ready and of course the little girl could sing along every song and danced in front of the TV with the characters in the movie. It was adorable. When y/n left we were already halfway through the movie so there were only 45 more minutes of a singing snowman and talking rocks with huge noses.

When the credits came up on the screen, Talia looked at me with big, shining eyes. "Deweeeek?" she asked in a singing voice and I knew that she wanted something even though I only knew her for a day. "Yes Talia?" I asked back and waited until she stood right in front of me where I was sitting on the couch.

"Can we go outside? Please?" she asked with an angel's voice and I literally felt my heart melting. "I don't know Talia. I have to ask your mum first." She looked at me sadly and I couldn't stand it. Big, bad Alphawerewolf, sure.

"Let me call you mommy okay? See what she thinks about it." Talia nodded her head and sat on the couch waiting for me to call her mum. Of course I had to call right away, silly me.

Y/n answered on the fifth ring and sounded kind of worried. "Is everything alright?" she asked but I had trouble understanding her 'cause of the loud backround noices of her location. She had to be in a supermarket or maybe in the mall. "Yeah, of course everthing's fine. Talia just wanted to go outside but I wanted to make sure if you're okay with me taking her to the park or something." I heared a heavy sigh on the other line and when she answered she sounded way more relaxed than before.

"Of course. Yes I think that is alright, but don't go to the park. You don't have a child seat for your car and hers is in my car which I am in town with, but there is a playground around the corner where she really likes to go to. You just turn left and follow the street until you come to a little café, there you turn right. After that, you already should be able to see it."

"Left and after the café right, got it. Thanks." I could hear her smile through the phone and waited for her to say goodbye but of course, she is a mother, she has to add some mother-things. "It is a little fresh outside so please grab her jacket from the rack, the pink one, she loves it and don't forget her gloves! I don't want her hands to be cold, and of course her hat. It should be next to her gloves in the drawer next to the rack in the corridor. Oh shit I'm next, I gotta go. Tell her I love her and be careful, bye!" and then she hung up.

I turned around and looked at the big eyes of my daughter, full of hope and excitement. "You wanna go to the playground?" I asked and got a high-pitched squeal as a response. I chuckled to myself and started to grab the stuff y/n wanted Talia to wear before we headed out in the fresh november air.

 

~ YOU ~

I rushed to the pharmacy and got everything I needed for the next days before I headed to the small shop around the corner. The little shop was right behind the mall in a small alley and if I didn't knew better, I'd think that there would be someone jumping out of nowhere and kill me brutally any second. Yes, it definitely had this creepy, dark crime - touch.

When I entered the little shop, Milan, the friendly owner of the shop born in the netherlands, smiled at me and greeted me with a enthusiastic "Hello y/n!". I came here often, so it wasn't weird when he called me by my first name. "How are you today?" he asked in a thick european accent and I couldn't stop smiling back at him. Milan was one huge walking cliche. He had freckles all over his pale skin and red curles fell on his forehead like little flames. His light blue eyes sometimes seemed to stare right into your soul and it was nearly impossible to not like him. Sometimes he remembered me of Stiles. Of course, Stiles was american and had brown hair and gold-brown eyes, but his moles and his pale skin looked a lot like Milan's. Apart from that, if you knew Stiles with his jumpiness and his sarcasm, his clumsiness and his dorky expressions, you just had to love this kid. He was definitely the american version of Milan.

"I'm good, a bit tired you know, but good. What about you?" I asked and even though I thought that it wasn't possible, his smile got wider. "Perfectly fine as always. What can I get you today? The usual?" he already reached behind him after the doorhandle that lead to his office and I followed on instinct. "Of course." I answered before I could reach his desk.

"Let's go to the back, I don't want anyone to see what I'm about to give you." he winked at me and I followed him, smiling like an idiot. I loved this secret between us.

 

~ Derek ~

Being on the playground with Talia and watching her play with other kids was fun, really. The way she interacted with her friends and how dominant but fair she was, was really enjoyable to look at. She will be an amazing Alpha. Wait, did I really already think about her being an Alpha? I mean, of course when I am dead and nobody stole my power, she will get my Alphapowers. That was how Laura got hers. She got it from my mother and my mother got it from her father. It's tradition, kinda.

But I shouldn't think about that yet. I haven't even spoken to y/n about it and I didn't know if Talia knew what she was. She is three years old, nearly. Maybe y/n hadn't even told her about werewolfs in general. I made a mental note to talk to her about that later and continued walking next to Talia, back home. We were on the playground for about an hour and I was really starting to get hungry, besides I was pretty sure that y/n was home by now and I didn't want her to worry about her daughter to much. It was my first time with her alone and nothing bad happened, maybe I shouldn't challange my luck.

On half way back Talia suddenly grabbed my hand with her little glove-covered fist and smiled up at me. "'Was fun!" she said and I smiled back at her. "Yes it really was." She kept walking but I noticed that she got slower by the second so I stopped and squatted down beside her. "Hey, you wanna sit on my shoulders until we're home? You look tired." Again, there was that happy squeal and I sat her on my shoulders carefully before I continued walking home.

It didn't take us long to come home but I had to take Talia into my arms beacuse she was about to fall asleep on my shoulders which wouldn't be that good I guess. When I opened the door of the apartment I could already smell y/n and I was about to call her, but Talia was asleep and drooled onto my shoulder, so I stopped in the living room and layed her down on the sofa before I started to search for y/n.

Well, I didn't really have to search for her. Thanks to supernatural hearing I knew exactly that she was in the bathroom the minute we entred the apartment. I went straight to her bedroom where her bathroom was next to and noticed the heavy, chemical scent in the air that got stronger the closer I came to the door.

I really didn't want to spy, but the door wasn't fully closed, so I looked through the small gap that was between the door and the doorframe to see something I never expected.

Y/n stood there in her underwear and had one leg on the closed toilet

Y/n stood there in her underwear and had one leg on the closed toilet. She had her eyes closed and a painful grimace on her face while she pushed the needle of the syringe into her skin and injected the chemical into her body.

I couldn't believe my eyes and felt anger built up in my gut. "What the hell y/n?" I nearly screamed into her face and slamed the door open. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Her expression was full of pure shock and she seemed to search for the right words to say but all that came out of her perfect mouth was "I can explain!" My response was a sarcastic laugh and a raised eyebrow. I never expected her to do such things which was why I was so angry and disappointed. I turned around and was about to leave when she grabbed my hand and made me turn around. "Derek, please let me explain!" she pleeded but I forcefully snapped my wrist out of her hand which turned her expression into something that looked like fear.

My heart dropped, I didn't want her to be afraid of me! Never! My eyes wandered to the floor in shame but stopped halfway at her hand that was still holding the syringe. Again, all the anger boiled up and my expression got hard again. "Really y/n? Explain? What is there to explain? It is obvious what you were doing there! Yes actually, now everything makes sense! The chemical scent that comes off you all the time, you being exhausted and tired even when we are not doing anything exhausting. I thought you were just stressed with work and taking care of Talia! But those were all withdrawl sympthoms!"

"What? Derek what are you -"

"What am I talking about?" I was shouting at her by now and her heart was beating a 1000 beats per second. "I am talking about you being a fucking drug adicct while having to take care of a baby! How long has it already been huh? 3 years? 3 months? Maybe you already started during the pregnancy! I never would have believed that you would do shit like that! Seriously I thought you were smart and took your responsibilities seriously! I never would have believed that I would be this disappointed in you like I am right at this moment!"

She was crying, but I was too angry to care. I waited for her to say soemthing but it looked like she has given up. "Please don't yell at me like this, I don't want Talia to hear us tal-"

"Now you care about her? You sure? You're pumping this shit inside your system and now you're telling me I should be quieter because Talia could hear us? She is a werewolf! She can smell that shit too! She already knows something is more than wrong here y/n!"

"Derek please let us talk about this quietly and normal. It is not like this. I need this stuff for -"

Again I interrupted her, I couldn't stand those lame excuses. She at least should be honest with me now that I already discovered it myself. "You need it?! You got to be kidding me! What you need is serious help y/n! You already have everything that you need in life! You got a job, you got an apartment, you got parents, friends and most importantly, you got a beautiful and amazing daughter! I don't get it!"

Her face was one big waterfall of tears now and on any other day I would have grabbed her and cuddled her until she would have stopped but now, all I could see and smell was that disgusting chemcial she pumped into her veins. "You don't get it beacause you won't let me explain!"

I took a deep breath but I just couldn't calm down. "I don't want lame excuses. I don't want to hear why you're doing this stupid shit. All I want to know is, why you didn't tell me sooner? Why did you not come to me for help? We would have found a way! I would have taken Talia and you could have gone to rehab or... I don't know! We would have found a fucking way!"

I was screaming into her face again and that was when she couldn't hold it back anymore. She threw the syringe on the floor and we watched it smashing into hundrets of small pieces on the floor. When she looked at me again, her expression changes from sadness and fear to pure anger.

 

"We would have found a way? You would have helped me? Are you being serious? Like the way you listened to me when I wanted to tell you I am pregnant? Like the time I wanted to talk to you about my aunts death but you hadn't had the time because you had pack stuff to do? Like every fucking time that I just needed you to stay with me but you didn't care beacause your fucking pack needed you?"

"This is a whole other storry! I -" I started but again she interrupted me, even angrier than before. "SHUT UP DEREK! You didn't care about me for the last three years! So stop pretending to care now!"

It felt like my heart was shattered to pieces when she said that last sentence. I wasn't able to even think about a response and before I could even take a breath, Talia walked into the room, looking scared. "Mommy? Dewek?"

Y/n rubbed her hands over her face to stop herself from crying and ran to her daughter. "Don't come in honey. Mommy accidentally let something fall and there is glass everywhere. We don't want you to hurt your little feet do we? Let's go and grab something to eat for you and I will clean everything up okay?" Talia wrapped her hands around her mother's neck and looked at me, still confused. "What about Derek?" she asked but I didn't look at her. I couldn't even be happy about the fact she pronounced my name right for the first time. "Derek has to go for now, say bye to him sweetie."

Now I looked at Talia and I noticed her eyes were sad but curious about what just happened

Now I looked at Talia and I noticed her eyes were sad but curious about what just happened. I walked up to her and gave her a kiss on the forehead, then I whispered "Bye Talia." and before she could ask anything about me coming back or why I was leaving I ran out of the room and out of the appartment.

When I stood on the street I felt something wet on my cheek. It wasn't raining, so I must've been crying. The first time after three years. Fuck.

 

~ YOU ~

My world was torn apart. Again. Would things ever settle down between me and Derek? I mean, what was I supposed to do now? I couldn't just push him out of my life again. I couldn't do that to Talia. She just got to know her father and now, just after a few days everthing should be over again? No, that was not an option. But how should I handle that? With all the shit that was going on. First of all I should keep my happy face on as long as Talia was awake. I didn't want her to notice all of the sadness. Of course I couldn't fool a werewolf, even a little one. She knew exactly how I was feeling without me being in the same room. I woke up many times with her little arms wrapped around my face and little, wet lips on my cheeks when I had a nightmare. She heared my fast heartbeat and smelled my distress and came to calm me down. She was honestly the cutest thing in this fucked up world.

If only Derek would have let me explain things, everything would be different now. And by everything, I litteraly meant everything!

"Mommy, you otay?" Talia asked and looked at me with big eyes. "Of course love. Everything's fine." she didn't buy it, obviously and her eyes judged my bad lie ability. "Then why did Dewek yell at you?" she asked and again her eyes were big and shiny like the stars and I couldn't stand to look at them anymore. "Your daddy just had a bad day, but don't worry. I promise that everything's gonna be alright." I tried to avoid her eyes and found myself looking to the kitchen counter where the big pile of cookies was that I prepared for when Derek and Talia came home. "Hey, I brought the cookies from Milan's you love so much. The ones he orderes from Belgium just for you! You want some while we cuddle up in a blanket and watch Mickey Mouse together?" her eyes lit up and she made grabby hands towards the kitchen where she already made needy eyes too the pile of cookies.

I had to giggle a bit at that and set the cookies in front of her. "But only a few, bedtime's just around the corner." She pouted her bottom lip, but that didn't last long because I gave her a huge cookie which she had in her little mouth before I could even safe my hands from those tiny werewolf teeth.

I loved that little monster and she was my priority. Always. The fucked up stuff with Derek had to wait, at least for today. Maybe forever, who knew how much time we still had?

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you think about it! :)  
> I am happy about Kudos and comments and can't wait to read what you think about my little Fanfiction.  
> Lots of love! xo


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